


Oh No

by earlgrxyeyes



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man/Deadpool - Joe Kelly (Comics), The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: Deadpool #1, M/M, My First Spideypool Fic, Spider-Man Kiss, Spider-Man/Deadpool (2016) #4, Spideypool - Freeform, The Amazing Spider-Man - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-16 22:04:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19326982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlgrxyeyes/pseuds/earlgrxyeyes
Summary: A Spideypool fanfic (short chapters, updated uh sometimes?) based on the "I don’t mean to sound paranoid but I’m pretty sure you’re a serial killer.“ au





	1. Peter

**Author's Note:**

> probably going to be shotty updates and short chapters cuz I can't write a lot bc I dont have the mental capacity for that lmao

## Based on the "I don’t mean to sound paranoid but I’m pretty sure you’re a serial killer.“ AU

Peter's P.O.V

My eyes were as wide as the moon. The hair on the back of my neck was standing on end and I could hear everything. I mean everything. The gun cocking, his heavy footsteps, his heartbeat, the bullet humming in the chamber, waiting to end up in my head.

 

Wait, Wait, Wait. I should probably backtrack and explain.

So basically, I have this neighbor that moved in a few days... no, a week... actually yeah, a few days ago. Well, I've noticed a few weird things. I mean I'm calling it weird and I can walk on ceilings and shoot webs. Anyways, he comes in the windows at night, never uses the door, I've never seen his face; not even when I invited him to have dinner with me and my aunt since he was new to the 'neighborhood'. Obviously, I can hear whatever goes on over  _there._   From what I can tell, there's a dude named Weasel (who is named Weasel?!?) who comes over occasionally and talks to the dude who lives there. The dude who lives there is named Wade, possibly. He has a lot of guns. I mean a  ** _lot._**  I can hear him cleaning them, sometimes he even test fires them. It always is a bit quiet after.  He's mentioned jobs too. Like jobs where he gets paid large amounts. He talks to himself too. 

 

I have decided I am going to confront Mr. Wade. Nobody is going to be taking lives on my watch. I strap on my web shooters, hiding them under my sleeves. I slip on my Crocs; yes, Crocs. I'm not going to need special footwear for this, I am Spider-Man after all. 

 

I walk out my door. _Okay, here it goes to Peter. No need to be afraid._ I walk next door and stare at the door for a few seconds before rapping my knuckles against the cheap, probably rotting plywood door. I wait a few seconds. No answer. I knock again. No answer.  I slowly try the handle. It's unlocked. I push the door open. Looking around, concentrating on every creak, dust particle, and change in the air. I carefully put one foot in front of the other as I walk into the probably-serial-killer's apartment. 

 

_holy crap._

there are blood splatters all over the wall. Blood on the carpet, crimson puddles, taunting me. That's when I hear it.

 

My eyes were as wide as the moon. The hair on the back of my neck was standing on end and I could hear everything. I mean everything. The gun cocking, his heavy footsteps, his heartbeat, the bullet humming in the chamber, waiting to end up in my head.

 

I whip around, staring straight into the mask of the one, the only, Deadpool. 


	2. wade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's wade's turn!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter, just cuz. Written right after the first. You know the drill.

wade's p.o.v

oh hell nah. This cute ass boy did not just walk straight into my apartment and see the failed unlives. 

Too bad he'll hafta pay. I immediately pull my gun out, cocking without thinking and pointing straight at the back of his head. 

He stops. Turning around. Looking me straight in the eye. _Oh, he knows who I am._  A smirk makes its way across my face. Oh yeah. We're going to have some fun with this one. His mouth is as straight as a white frat boy. 

 

Before I can say anything, his perfect mouth opens up and blurts out "I'm your neighbor. You know, the one who invited you over to dinner. I'm Peter. I don’t mean to sound paranoid but I’m pretty sure you’re a serial killer. I mean I hear gunshots all the time and a lot of other weird noises. Not to mention your  _lovely_  blood splatter decor. Truly, I wish my apartment was this stylish. I'm really appreciating the...." he gestured to the whole living room "continuance of the theme. Who would've thought that blood spatter made a good faux rug?" He deadpanned. 

I let out a low laugh and put my finger on the trigger, "I try. It's one of a kind. Sorry. But maybe I can make you one?" I winked. 

Next thing I knew, the gun is kicked out of my hand, and I'm knocked flat on my ass. How in the hell did this scrawny jailbait stop me from adding a perfectly good rug to my collection?! He slowly bent down, maintaining eye contact the whole time. 

 

" I understand what you do for a living...  _ **Deadpool**_...but for the love of Pete do not do it while you live next to me. You're so very lucky I don't tell our buddies, the police, where to find you. But it's best to be friends with your neighbors, so I won't."

 

How does  _HE_ know who I am? Am I really that famous? Wow, I'm a celebrity! I should charge more. After all, people are going to get their buckets kicked by the infamous Deadpool! 

 

I stay silent as he stands up, and walks out as quickly as he left. But right as he reaches my doorway I yell out "Nice shoes!" He stops for a minute; I can see a smile making its way on to his face. He shakes his head and walks back to his apartment. Damn. He has a really nice ass. Like, really nice. I'd soooo tap that. 

 

I think I hit the jackpot on my new neighbor.

I see this encounter as an absolute win! Nevermind the whole "might be a murderer" spiel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave all your little thoughts down below. I'd love to peek in to all y'alls thought factory.

**Author's Note:**

> reviews, questions, comments, puns, memes, put em all below!


End file.
